What is life?
The life that most ppl know is- wake up brush teeth eat breakfast go work off work chill out go home shit slp, wake up brush teeth eat breakfast go work off work chill out go home shit slp, and the cycle continues.
Perhaps it seems like life is so boring for them that they get so interested in others’ lives. They enjoy others’ dramas, talking about accidents, the unexpected, gossiping/bitching about other ppl., or watching news, simply b’cos either these ppl. are too bored with their routines in life, or it’s an escapism for them to not work on their self-growth.
Having said that, men fear loneliness, the unknown and the fear that they may be forgotten. B’cos they can’t stand loneliness, they will do anything to fight this fear, including denying the existence of this fear. Most ppl. whom seek a relationship, will seek it not b’cos they love their partner, but b’cos they seek to fulfil a missing part of them. So the concept of love to these ppl is limited to eros. or at best, philos. It is seldom for men to reach the stage of agape (unconditional love with total acceptance. AKA The highest and purest form of love). And b’cos they never truly relate to the other person fully and accept the person they are relating to for who they are, most ppl have never truly have a connection with the person they are conversing with. Instead, when they are talking to the person in front of them, at the back of their mind, they are brandishing a list of criteria that the person in front of them must fulfil before the latter can be categorized as either i) acquaintances, ii) friends, iii) good friends, iv) close friends v) potential romantic relationship, or vi) i’d never talk to this person again etc.
Men oso fear that they may be forgotten. They leave legacy, built monuments, built statues, have funerals, pray to their ancestors, write books, poems, songs etc, just so that they would not be forgotten. Like the adage, "Funerals are for the living, and not for the dead", funerals were held so that kins can show their filial piety. (c’mon lah, like it’s going to make a difference.) Since men’ entire lives are being run by this fear that they may be forgotten, they never truly live their lives before. The sad truth is- Most ppl die without ever finding out the purpose of their lives.
Ppl. cannot tolerate the unknown. B’cos they fear the unknown, they have a profound respect for it. Most ppl who are religious, received a hand-me-down set of values that they never question nor confront. Instead, what they do is to buy into that set of values, maintain the values, and pass it down to someone else. At best, they experienced an intellectual masturbation of their perception of truth, and attempt to fit what they read into their lives.
Since they never question what they learn, their spiritual growth is minimal. Dun get my intentions wrong. I’m not saying that receiving a set of hand-me-down values is wrong. What I’m pointing at is, the ppl. whom reached a high revelation of spiritual growth had done their best to share their experiences and what they have learnt in their journey. However, these experiences were for them and themselves only, and when experiences were shared with someone else, that someone would only get the surface of the experience, or have their own intellectual masturbation of the truth.
Hence, their growth is minimal.
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[Okay, I think I might just get killed here 'cos I'm gonna cover a touchy topic. But if you can get me, you will get me. If you can't get me, dun try to understand me, for it's either you understand or you dun understand me. There's no trying.]
So what is GOD?
Men’ purpose in life is to reach GODHOOD/Nirvana/Enlightenment.
GOD is in them as well as they are in GOD.
Eg. of when you are in GOD is while you drink a cup of coffee, work, study, pray, and play etc.
Eg. of when GOD is in you is when you have attained a certain level of revelation and growth, and you see the world with clarity.
Like what I mentioned before in previous blog entry- GOD is too omnipotent and big to fit into any religion.
Most ppl’s interpretation of GOD is limited to this- HE LOVES ME and I Have accepted him as my savior.
The sad truth is- most ppl. dun even love themselves in the 1st place, that’s why they will continue to seek relationships and find someone whom will love and want them. Which is oso why when you questioned their religions, they will do everything they can in their means to defend themselves. B’cos if you take their values and beliefs away, they will become nothing. If you tell them GOD no longer loves them, they will beat you up, b’cos the truth will hurt them.
On the contrary, if i keep insisting that you have a nose, you will think i’m crazy, since you already get that you have a nose. So whatever I say will not hurt you. Yea? Okay, ‘enuff said.
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The Meaning of Life
Actually, all religions are talking about the same thing. The only difference is that they have a different expression of the truth. At the end of the day, you will get that no matter which path you take, you will get the same realizations of what the world is all about, and above all, the meaning of life. Of ‘cos, there’s such a thing as a short-cut, but the trade-off is that you’ve got to work harder and confront yourself more. Most ppl. prefer the longer path since it’s less confronting, but then again, what they get may be minimal.
If you get me, you get me. Just dun try. ‘cos when you try, it’ll be another intellectual masturbation of your perception of what I share… So here goes…
The meaning of life is that, there is no meaning.
Hahahahahahaahahahahahaha…………
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How I dealt with Loneliness
In the past, i get upset over petty things. Like why HE dun loves me, like why my parents are like that, like how come ppl are so egoistic, why ppl are late, why ppl. dun peform to my expectations etc etc etc…
Now, when I cry, I usually get very depressed. And I cried not for myself, but for the trap that the world is in. Actually, to be more specific, I cried b’cos I can see the trap but my closest ones can’t. I cried b’cos in my attempts to share with them, they will misunderstand me. They will reject me. They will do anything possible to deny the truth, and they will do anything except understanding me. I cried over my helplessness of saving my closest ones from the trap. I cried for myself and the world. I cried how the world, the oceans, the animals, the sky, the sand, the earth and everything else have been laughing at us for eons and men still din get it.
But each time after I’m done with crying, I will start laughing at myself, the world and everyone else. B’cos it is a big joke, the joke that men are stupid. No matter how much I cry, they will still be stupid and f*cked up. Hahaha…
This reminds me of another joke. I used to feel sorry for the monks, nuns etc b’cos they can’t get married, have sex, have kids and enjoy life. And they can’t do the things we do! I really felt very sorry for them.
However, now, having acknowledged and accepted the truth of my loneliness, what I experienced is inner joy. Enough joy to sustain my aloneless for the rest of my life, even if there’s only me in this world.
Erm, no leh, even when i get the irony of the joke i made when I was younger, I’m still not gonna be a nun. =P still gonna play the game of life, instead of having life playing a game on me. HAHAHAHAHA…
But the hardest thing is- having the discipline to maintain the consciousness.
Again, like what Thomas Jefferson said, "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."
PS: If you are conscious and you see me slip into unconsciousness, please kick my butt hor? Thanks! Heh =P
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So you want the short-cut of consciousness?
Hahaha… no lah… I’m not going to tell you. Let you suffer more…
Mwhahahahaha…… And I’ll get more opportunities to laugh at you and the world….
No, I’m not playing sadistic here. Or maybe I am. Whatever.
Sigh… And I acknowledge my own cowardice. B’cos these train of thoughts betray my very own insecurities. Yup, and I decided that the only way to deal with the insecurities is to go confront them! Okay lor… so I will get hurt. Fine! Okay lor, so everything I do will amount to nothing. Fine! Okay lor, I’m still going to be lonely for the rest of my life. Fine! Okay lor, i’ll never be accepted for who I am. Fine! 
