Oneheart

Moses is gonna postponed his TCC, again. >_<  Luckily Clement’s taking coming TCC, else I’ll be super duper disappointed ‘cos I was so looking forward to assisting this TCC. Shall experience the wonders of clearing shit with him later. *i stink now*

Went out with An Xin, She who mirrors me, last night. Our 1st date ended qte well; had a great catch up with her and plotting together how we can traumatize others during our POS. hehehe… *winks* heh heh… =P   ……………….. he’s really a jerk! yucks! TMD GNN SSO WTF IPS 78 89~~~

Was so confronted with Enterprise Integration (EI) labs yesterday that I ran a fever, again. ’tis the 2nd time I fell sick this month >_< I need to buck up for my studies!!! Must run faster!!!

I really miss my sisters. =( I haven’t seen my er mei and xiaomei since my b’day, and many months for my san and si mei. Argh… i wanta see them!!! Hope our reunion dinner will be fulfilled!

I’ve never been so diligent in doing my coaching homework than this week. Totally sapped my energy fighting my machines (why are they called machines? I am the big machine running the programs isn’t it? shouldn’t they be called programs instead? hmph… an ECI term which I can’t fathom till now) and inquiring deep into my past that I was pretty drained the whole week. (Not a gd idea… should strike a balance or smt) But I’ve gained so much insights this week than I have for many months. I used to think I had already let go of my past and move on already. I really tot so… until I gave myself the permission to let the memories flow… and I realized… yucks… my self-denying machine is damn powerful. >_< I really wanta let the past go, if not I’ll nv stop running the patterns.
eeewww… tt sucks.

Haven’t met up with Baiyun for a year or more liao. hmmmmmmmmm……….. (deep in thoughts) I will reserve my next wed evening for this gal, and we will definitely meet up. =) "what is wrong with me??????" *bish* (;_;)

Pulau ubin trip was great. I had an encounter with this dog, which I gained a super important insight to my life. The incident with that dog was very very x10 triggering… and it’s the most triggering incident of mine till date. I really ought to thank it. It’s "my dog". Teng Nging said I had experienced a Maktub (from The Alchemist). I couldn’t agree with her more.

Chinese New Year is finally here!!! I’m looking forward to visiting my grandfather, and my cute cousins!!! Really miss them… not to forget the generous relatives of mine… who will gimme ang baos…. hehehe… $$$ here I come!!! =)

Wishing all my friends a Happy New Year Ahead. Be Happy. Be Joyful. Be Love. (I know how much that means to my world.)

Get more red packets!
Yixin

I’m suffering from friday blues. All I wanta do now is to bitch, moan and whine (BMW). Look at my forlorn face, and you could prob have a better sense of my mood:

Sigh… I’m utterly disappointed now… I had to sacrifice performing for lion dance for tonight’s CCI session.  To me, that’s a huge sacrifice ‘cos a troupe member trains so hard just so she can perform right? And now that it’s SMU Grand Opening with lotsa VIPs (which is such a rare opportunity)-I can’t perform!!!

Nvm, so i made up to myself by inviting 7 guests. It’s the 1st time I managed to invite so many guests for myself. I was on cloud 9 and looking forward excitedly to giving an inspiring opening speech for 2006 on harnessing energy. Stayed up late into the night to write my script, and then rehearsed for my assignment 3 (Directing a Conversation). ‘Tis oso the 1st time I rehearse/practise for my assignment. I really wanta excel in this assignment (’cos Dianna’s my coachee-partner and I wanta make a difference to her!!!), so despite only having 3 hours of slp last night, I felt that my preparation was worth the effort.

yea… however… bad news come one after another. 3 out of my 7 guests couldn’t make it, and other trivial I.P.S happened at the same time. Darn… so low morale now. =( Plus I sent around 30 odd smses to try inviting more guests… and kena rejected. =( den hor… i tried calling others but they oso can’t make it since it’s too last minute a notice. LM all the way…

Super duper sian… anyway now I’m stuck in a GSR (group study room) with Germaine, who’s doing her Analytical Skills (AS) weekly assignment. This is Germaine:

She’s obviously posing for my shot. Frankly speaking, no one will smile like that lor if they’re doing AS assignment. She’s on exchange from NUS to SMU this semester, and under my "recommendation", she took AS. However to her dismay, it’s not as interesting as I had make it out to be. In fact, she bitches to me every week about her assignment. >_<
Hey babe, I said the module’s interesting, but I din say it’s easy. Hahaha… My best piece of advice- Get over it!

She just made me look at her AS qns paper, and I’m feeling even more depressed ‘cos I dunno how to do!!! Argh… Decided to look out of the window to distract myself from counting my misfortunes… and I saw this!!!

Hmm… I’ve no idea what’s this… should be history or art museum (opposite SMU Accountancy Building). It’s an awesome architecture!!! Resembles the White House dun you think?? Yeah… nice hor? =)

Still got a show to run later! I musn’t let anything get me down- "Tough times dun last, Yixin does!" Yeah… still need to give my inspiring speech later… >_< I really need to cheer up man!

chanting *cheer up cheer up cheer up x10….*

coaz… I heard thunder… it looks like it’s gonna pour now. Wah… I cannot believe this!

chanting *cheer up cheer up cheer up x10….*

Whatever works for me,
The Cub braving thru her downride.

The heart is worn out from fighting all the time.
For not being able to fully express her reality,
and having to confront her world to be her Greater Self,
her energy is sapped, and she is weaken.

The path towards her return to innocence is littered with logjams.
With reality challenging her ideals, she has to wrestle with her choices.
Sometimes, she is so used to not being herself that she forgot who she should be.
Yet when she is herself, her reality forces her to retreat into hermitage.

As the Child of Dark and Child of Light battle to be the winner of the throne,
which grants the ONE with the power to lead all and align them to a common destiny,
she is casted aside many times, neglected.
Damn them all, she just wants to be HER TRUEST SELF.

She wants to Fully Live, and Fully Love.
Why is reality so harsh?
Fight she may, fight she must.
Fight them all, till she win the war!

She is aware that with power comes great responsibilities.
Alas! She did not ask for this power.
She is overwhelmed with these new responsibilities she must bear.
She laments, "WHY ME?!?"

Yet she knows, she is the only one who has the ability to make a difference.
She has to be clear of who she is,
before she can utilise this power that she is bestowed upon.
That’s when she is able to change her fate.

To They Who Created Her Present,
She will take on this responsibility not just for them, but for her own sake.
To being Her Greater Self, To Fully Live, and Fully Love,
The Heart Salutes Her Future.

Come What May, The Heart Declares.

Some quizzes I took from quizfarm.com

1. My Harry Potter alter ego is…?

You scored as Severus Snape.

Well you’re a tricky one
aren’t you? Nobody quite has you figured out and you’d probably prefer it stayed
that way. That said you are a formidable force by anyone’s reckoning, but there
is certainly more to you than a frosty exterior and a bitter temper.

My verdict: Actually, it was a tie-breaker between Severus Snape, Harry
Potter and Ginny Weasley. But eeee…… why Severus Snape?!? Must be a ploy by
the Child of Dark, I reckon.

2. What type of guys want you?

You scored as The sweet guy.

You want to hold each other
and tell each other you’re going to be okay and make it through all the tough
times together. You’re proud of your relationship, and you’re not afraid to
show it. Valentines gifts are a must and he can bring a smile to your face in
the sweetest ways. Life for love; live for each other.

My Verdict: Hmm…  So I attract this type of guys… Very
interesting… good oso lah. hahaha… =P

3. My ideal boyfriend is…?

You scored as Soccer/Football Jocks.

The jocks…yum!   (I did not write this!!!)

My verdict: Sure anot??? Make me sound like some bimbo leh… and checking
out hunks at the stadium or smt… hahaha… =P

4. Which religion is the right one for you?

You scored as Islam.

Your beliefs are most similar
to those of Islam. Do more research on Islam and possibly consider taking the
shahadah and officially becoming a Muslim, if you aren’t already. Despite the
actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion
of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to
God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam
is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism in
Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and
final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he
was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. Apparently
the Taliban could not read (though their name means "students"),
because the Qur’an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that
all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and
behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of
society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence,
knowledge, and God.

My verdict: I cannot believe this!!! >_<

Overall verdict: Take it as a pinch of salt. Yeah… Have fun though! ; )

I had a very fun time giving tuition today. It was my 1st Principles of Accounts (POA) lesson to this sec 4 guy whom is absolutely clueless to what he has been studying for the past year.

Just last night, I was still confronted that I had no plans how I would be teaching him. What’s worse, I’ve not touched POA since I last took it for my O’levels. So I was dreading going to his house like anything, not to mention that he stays in a remote part of Kovan, where "Niao bu shen dan, cao bu zhang chang". *literally translate to: birds dun lay eggs, and grass dun grow taller, ‘cos the place is remote mah. I invented the 2nd half of the proverb on my way to his house. heh =P* And I was worrying how to survive thru the 2 hours. And it doesn’t help that his voice sounded qte deep over the phone, so I had pictured him to be a tall, plumb and lazy bugger.

It all turns out that my worries were unduly. hahaha… actually he’s cute!! (nowhere as I had pictured him.) heh =P…  And the fact that he is totally clueless to POA makes my teaching so much more meaningful. I dun even need a script to motivate him, ‘cos I had it in me already. My love for that subject came back instantly the moment I see the familiar ledger paper, calculator, textbook and question paper. And when I said to him, "I hope my love for POA will pass it on to you and change your attitude towards the subject", I really do meant it. Yeah… and I think I did a great job today. So proud of myself! Heh… =)

Really looking forward to our next lesson- so exciting! What a paradigm shift! And I found out that I have direct buses from my sch to his place! Hoorey!!! So it’s not that far travelling to that beautiful bungalow. Great… Really hope we can turn his grade from an F to an A!!! That would be very rewarding… shall strive towards that. Jia you! =)

Alrighty… gotta slp early tonight… tmr will be a great day for Bball! zzzzzzzz

Feeling better now,
Oneheart

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My latest quote- "The Basis of Human Growth comes from the Choices We Made."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I fell sick today…

Had to confront tutee kid mum last night and gently explain to her she’s paying me below market rate. (drained my energy alot)

Slept late burning midnight oil (never take care of health)

Learnt cryptology during IST today. Nearly fell off my chair while dozing off. Won a battle against that sleeping goddess. (drained my energy)

Never do my stats assignment (just realized i dun have to submit but spent the entire day worrying). Was confronted.

Dozed off during stats class when prof explained box plot concept. Confronted and forced myself to focus in this sleep-inducing lesson.

Shufen called and wanted my schedule for lion dance training. Felt really sorry that I couldn’t commit. Was confronted again.

Hafta give 5 hours of tuition tmr, and yet to plan my syllabus. Was confronted.

Dun even noe how to get there. Being confronted again.

It’s so amazing that I was sneezing into packets of tissues before I blogged, and completely stopped my flu at this point. How psychosomatic! Great… high time I put them behind.

Tmr will be a great day. Ganbatte!!! =)

A confronting day,
The Cub

PS: Next time you fall sick, probably can try listing everything that confronted you. It might just stop the headache, cough, flu or fever. Yea… it works k? I can testify to it. =)

P.P.S: Back to law of probability. >_<

What occurred for me these few days:

1) Gained many important insights for myself.

2) Started championing my own growth, and others’.
Insight gained- Take responsibility of my actions. Stop passing "shit" to others.

3) Opportunities came knocking on my door.
Insight gained- I realize I still have a problem letting go of opportunities. I really need to say this, "Sorry, But I’ve got other priorities".

4) Finally closed that chapter, again.
Insight gained- I may clear with everyone else. But Have I cleared with myself? And that’s what I did. I stopped running the conversation for good. My pet quote still works, "Listen to my heart. Just listen to it. And speak to it." =)

5) Confronted and cleared with myself for the 1st time. *stunned by that inner wisdom*
Insight gained- I should do that more often. Start kicking my own butt instead of relying on the other coaches.

6) Gained energy back. Completed 9 chapters of textbook within a day. Great day isn’t it? Haha…

7) Finally found out how to conquer the "stoning" and "sleeping" bugs. Perfect.
Insight gained- They will continue to be there, and grow to be stronger, unless they GOT my INTENTION to ACT. Like Duh… I should have known it!!! So dumb of me… can’t believe I took so long to figure that out. Coaz… >_<

Things are Finally Moving, AGAIN…
Insight gained- Keep Moving! =)

New Year, New Start…
The Cub on her upride

PS: Special Acknowledgments to Mei, Kelvin, Teng Nging, Chris, Mervin, Julz and Myself for guiding me through the trying times for the entire week. THANK YOU! =)

Having the blues today, for my 1st day of school.

Gained new realizations today pertaining to my old conversation on time. (I just made a pun! =P)

Busy ppl will always be busy, no matter what. They will always have things on their plates. Either they will be tied down by the old commitments, or new commitments will come find them.

I sat down today, and listed down all my commitments n priorities. It’s going to be another "happening" semester. On one hand, it’s really good to have all these commitments. It keeps me focused, set direction for me, and these are the things I wanta achieve as my short term goals.
On the other hand, I’m still trapped with that old conversation. Hmm… this reminds me of my current pet quote, "When realities clash with our ideals, one got to make a choice, however painful that might be." Like DUH hor? hahaha… but i still like this quote leh, ‘cos i made it with alot of INTENT, and that says alot.

Anyway, I just wanta make a point. I’ve no time, only because I CHOOSE TO. Since I’ve made that choice again this year to have these priorities on my plate, I’ll stick to my decision n quit grumbling. That’s my new year’s resolution. =)

So that old conversation of "I’ve got no time", is gone for good. It’s more of "Sorry, But I’ve got other priorities."

And yes, there’s a difference…

I made a choice. =)

The Cub riding on her rollercoaster,
Oneheart